Christmas 2018

Just like the last 7 years, this Christmas was emotional for me. I alternated moods from wanting to cry to exhaustion to happiness and back. It had its highs & lows. Butter being here helped. It was her first ‘real’ Christmas. Watching her eyes literally light up when she opened her own present and found the contents to be a plush hedgehog puzzle was truly a high point. She rolled the hedgehogs around, amusing herself with her own private game. Buster, who received similar, albeit larger, squirrel puzzle, brought joy as well. He is much less interested in ‘solving’ said puzzle. His curiosity rested solely with the squeakers.

A low point was the fact that we didn’t hear a peep from our grown children. Both are living their own lives, making terrible choices, and basically not doing anything they were taught in their youth. My biological, oldest son, I’d thought, would have reached out due to his grandfather’s passing ‘anniversary’. Not. A. Word. He and I had a falling out several months ago do to his blatant drug use. In fact, it took me a long time to even find out where he was. I had been keeping tabs on him via Facebook. But, he had his girlfriend block me. Now, I know nothing of his whereabouts or activities.

I stuffed down the pain. Never made mention. Never changed my facial expressions. Just stuffed the pain, way down deep. A high point was dinner. My ham came out beautifully. Everyone had seconds. Dessert was spot on. We were full and content. After dinner, I gave in to the exhaustion. I slept for an hour on the couch. It wasn’t a popular decision, but I had to.

While I can never truly judge whether or not my husband is happy with his gifts, I think he may have been. He has a stoic expression when given gifts. But, he remained jovial for most of the day. Our 16-year-old and only child present for the day, seemed genuinely pleased with his presents. He received an eclectic assortment of collectibles, mostly Dragon Ball Z, and the PS4 games. I am always happy with gifts I’m given. Whether or not I understand them, I’ve always looked at the reason a gift was given to me.

As an avid collector of salt and pepper shakers, I was thrilled to receive sets depicting our president, hedgehogs and the characters from Bob’s Burgers. As an avid diamond painter, I was equally thrilled to received 2 very sizeable painting kits to do.

After the gifts and dinner, there wasn’t much left to do. By 3, our day was pretty well shot. Our son occupied himself with his game systems. My husband & I spent a lot of time talking and watching the dogs. Being that I spent Christmas Eve with my mom, we exchanged texts, reminisced about Dad, and I sent her Christmas pics. My sister, in Alabama, & I did the same.

Another Christmas in the books. Another New Year on its way.

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